this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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