the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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