So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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