I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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