Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
