So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Girls should come with a carfax report
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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