So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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