Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry coreynewell hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(213): View more from California

the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.

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(571): View more from Virginia

FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.

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(727): View more from Florida

Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level

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(607): View more from New York

I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.

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