How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
