when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
