do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
