Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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