life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
