There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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