Small penises have feelings too.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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