i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
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