the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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