just come out here and I will go home with you...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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