I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
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I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
