yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
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