im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I need water and some morals
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
