Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
