he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
