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HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
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I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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