Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Is it because I queefed?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
