I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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