we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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