I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize