They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
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I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
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We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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