We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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