hotel room ftw
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Randomize
