i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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