so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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