He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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