Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Operation Purity has been aborted
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
