Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My breasts were aching with rage.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
