Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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