There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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