Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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