party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
