Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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