Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
