and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
