We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
