You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize