i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
