chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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