Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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