mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
