i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
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I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
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Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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