Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
