I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
