Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
