God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
