That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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